garlands

All great clubs have personality. Some of them are greater than the competition; others are more than the sum of their parts; yet more set the lead for others to follow.
Garlands is all of these.

With this in mind, and tiara tight on my head, Imade for Garlands on a typical Saturday.

Promoter Marky J assures me that Garland’s murky back street surroundings are no accident: “Garlands isn’t about people out pissed and thinking oooh that looks like it will be alright. No it’s about people realising this is the lifestyle choice they want to make - to club with every section of our community joined with one aim - the relentless pursuit of glamour and having a really good time”

Sounds good. Glad I wore my tiara.

Entering, I’m greeted by the Lady Shaun, and whisked in by the lovely Amber, legendary fan dancer and unaltered ego Plant Girl, man-eating half drag queen, half parlour palm. I descend through a futuristic sci-fi bachelor pad instilled into the intimate Boudoir Bar, soothed by the sounds of Garland’s Silk Tray.

In the main room, djs Dave and Huey are rip up the crowd with three decks of house trance and hard house. “Garlands is our favourite club”, they say, “the crowd will go for anything and are always up for it”.

The music stops. On the main stage a seaside themed freak show is taking place involving the Lady Shaun, Amber and Marky J, assorted mermaid’s, sailors and fairies plus one or two bewildered clubbers.Unbelievably, Rod Stewarts ‘Sailing’ pumps out the sound system. Marky explains the madness: It’s in aid of Fairies across the Mersey, where Garlands fill a Mersey Ferry with clubbers, djs and a huge sound system and literally sail away. Confetti bombs explode and inflated swimming rings are thrown out to the crowd. They scream their approval.

Rummaging through my mental closet deciding what to wear, I’m dissappointed to discover this night of nautical mayhem sold out months ago. The next one? Not til next year.
But its hard to stag handog for long. Whether on the ocean wave or dry land, the glamour madness that is Garlands makes the weekend worth the five days wait.