muse

CD shooting party

Ink’s party leaders Blair, Hague, Kennedy and The voice of reason gathered at a secret location to pass judgement, track by track, on the new manifestos from the music hustings

MUSE – ORIGIN OF SYMETRY MUSHROOM
Angst-ridden Devonians aren’t that unusual, but Muse’s woes are deeper than fox hunting bans or the cost of windscreen wipers for tractors, as their second album demonstrates:
NEW BORN
BLAIR: Another album already? A few years back, a band this young would just be gearing up to release their debut album after a string of eps. Now, look, here are Muse back again…
KENNEDY: Coldplay fans like Muse – student types. Just another student band.
THE VOICE OF REASON: I’m waiting for the Radiohead comments…
BLAIR & HAGUE: They’re nothing like Radiohead. Especially since Radiohead went in a different direction…
KENNEDY: I’ve made some angry muse fans here. Annoying students in ten till ten are being conjured up in my mind...
HAGUE: I can dance on my bed to this
KENNEDY: Matt Belamy’s got such an irritating voice.
BLAIR: It makes me think about defiling churches…
HAGUE (Again): It makes you wanna dance on your bed…
INK: This sounds like some sort of dating advice
KENNEDY: It’s not different from the last one in any definable way.
THE VOICE OF REASON: But at least it’s different from the rest of the charts
KENNEDY: It’s not that bad, and they are talented. I wouldn’t turn it off.

BLISS

THE VOICE OF REASON: This is like Tori Amos does prog rock
KENNEDY: This track is a bit better than the last one.
All: Good wibbly keyboard sounds.
THE VOICE OF REASON: It’s the perfect soundtrack for a train journey across the Pennines
BLAIR: They’d deny being Goth, but they create tracks that are Gothy in length – they’re nu-goth.

SPACE DEMENTIA

KENNEDY: (Witheringly) This is just uncontrollable warbling
HAGUE: Like there’s something trapped in his throat.
BLAIR: I don’t get who the audience is for this. They don’t appeal to the skate boarders outside Quiggins.
INK: Wasn’t Hague right when he suggested they were going for the Coldplay audience?
BLAIR: Not really. Muse’s main challenge isn’t Coldplay, it’s JJ72. JJ72 can appear to be deep and meaningful while having some whistleable tunes and pretty faces – they’re "You wouldn’t believe what I dreamed last night", while Muse are simply not waking up from the nightmare.

HYPER MUSIC

BLAIR: I’ve not heard anything so far that sounds like the next single…

PLUG IN BABY

BLAIR: It’s here now… oh, this has already come out, hasn’t it? Apparently, this is about making puppies that last forever.
HAGUE: A very standard muse song
KENNEDY: Sounds like I’ve heard it before.
BLAIR: Disappointingly, since they’re a better singles than an albums band, there aren’t more singles-type highs here.
THE VOICE OF REASON: This is the first short, snappy track. Its getting better.
For some reason, at this point there’s an outbreak of ‘how many albums did the Beatles make’?

CITIZEN ERASED

BLAIR: I like this.
THE VOICE OF REASON: It’s more rocky
BLAIR: It’s Goth Ladytron.
HAGUE: They’re making more use of keyboards
KENNEDY: I just wish he would stop warbling for a second.
MICRO CUTS
KENNEDY: If I met someone who looks nice but they were wearing a Muse T-shirt it would put me off.
HAGUE: I don’t like this. It’s… [searches for the correct words] … a bit too awful for me.
KENNEDY: Like cats wailing
BLAIR: As a cat owner I find that offensive . They are clearly taking the piss with this track, its so Muse-like
HAGUE: Painful. I think my ears are going to bleed
BLAIR: Its got to be a parody. Hasn’t it?

SCREENAGER

BLAIR: Starts quietly, as Peel would say…
THE VOICE OF REASON: They’ve gone all Ricky Martin
HAGUE: How’s his voice going to fit in with this?
BLAIR: Same as it always does…
KENNEDY: Yes, he’ll just wail over the top… Next album, please…