Smash Hits

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be treated this way. If the music press is going to announce gigs like this, then they should warn real fans what to expect. The episode has totally changed my opinion towards the band. Why should they perform in such stupid places as Universities when there are places like the Locarno, the Cedar Ballroom. or Digbeth Civic Hall, which would suit them just as well, and where the real fans have no trouble getting in.
Mike. a disappointed Altered Images fan.

A good point, Mike, but your not getting in wasn't totally the fault of the bond or the venue. If a venue looks as though it might require you to have a Union Card or be over 18 (which the three you mention obviously don't)then its always worth phoning them first to make sure. Anyway, ta]ke this £5
Record Token for your pains

Sorry, but I just can't take it any more! Who do Spandau Ballet think they are? Where has all their talent gone? They were fab at first and "Journeys To Glory" was, I thought, a real masterpiece. "Chants No. 1 & 2" were weak but I forgave them and hoped for better songs. I waited in vain. All I've got now is "Paint Me Down", a weak. ordinary jazz-funk song. They've run out of material and are just trying to cash in on their fans "devotion" by not trying to produce anything good, just something that will sell. And are Adam and The Ants trying to commit suicide? They sound like it on "Ant Rap" and the "Prince Charming" album. I advise Adam to take the money and run before his fans realise they were conned all along. Thank heavens for Depeche Mode. Soft Cell and Siouxsie And The Banshees. They are almost all the Futurists we have left. As for the Futurists themselves. The majority are vain and self centred (especially the men) and it's up to the others to show that being individual doesn't mean you think of nothing except yourself.
Julie. a bedsitter somewhere in darkest Ilford.

I can't do it! Aaaaarrgghhh! I've tried hour after hour, but it's so hard. Please. someone, tell me how to do it.
Pardon? Oh, you want to know 'what I can't do? Well. being a John Foxx fan. I can't complain really, but . . . I can't dance like a ruddy gun! I've tried everything. Even the simple dance steps on the single "Dancing Like A Gun". My feet are aching and -- following the dance steps carefully -- what do the curved dotted lines mean? And what do the foot patterns in black mean? And why are the dance steps placed on a rather painful part of a statue? And why are there ambulances pulling up outside? And why are there little white men in overalls trying to fit me into a rather tight fitting jacket?
What's more, the jacket's on the wrong way round and . . . Aaaaarrgghhh!
The Mad Hustler. Marianne, London.

Know the type -- bondage Jammies eh? Standard issue for Staus Quo fans.

It's Competition Time! Want to win a free guide? "How To Sound Like Japan" by such superstars as Duran Duran? All you have to do is answer these three simple questions: 1. How many times (to the nearest ten) do the words "burning bridges" appear on Japan records?
2. Richard Barbieri is: -- a) a tailor's dummy; b) battery-operated c) a cleverly disguised Chelsea pensioner; d) recovering from hearing the "Prince Charming" album. 3. Mick Karn's plait is:- a) a portable saxophone case: b) a prop from a Mike Mansfield video; c) Hissing Sid.
Answers on a signed picture of David Sylvian's right eye to:- The Machine That Shaved Off Mick Karn's Eyebrows, The Shoebox Next To The Chopsticks, Yeovi].

Well, we've all got to live somewhere. I suppose.

I think that the picture in Smash Hits (November 12), where Phil Oakey's got his chest pierced with a 9 carat ring. is horrible and disgusting.
New Romantic, Birmingham.

It's or sore point, that. In fact, two sore points.

My God! What will people do next!? As soon as people find out about pierced ears. they go mad. They have about eight earrings in each ear.
Then the boys find out too. They calmly go and have their ears pierced. And some people aren't even satisfied with that. They go and get their nose pierced! (e.g. Dave Gahan of Depeche Mode).
And then they go and have sleepers in their chests!(e.g. Phil Oakey of The Human League). Me I'm happy with four earrings in each ear.
A Modem Romance and Haircut One Hundred fan.

Dreadfull, isn't it? Ian Birch has got an anchor chain
through one of his elbows. We tried to reoson with him, but you know what these youngsters are!

I would just like to tell Ian Birch how disgusted I was with his review of "Prince Charming". The album is ace, and the cover's great too. The best.
So. Mr. Birch. if I have anymore of it I will personally come and see you and sort you out with a little help from some big friends. So don't forget next time. Adam And The Ants fan (who hates lan Birchl, Wiltshire.

Dear Shaz of Mill Hill. London. After reading your letter on the Spands selling T-shirts with their name printed on them (November 12), I felt I should put you right on the matter. I'11 quote you the newsletter I got from their Fan Club: "At the moment there are no badges. T-shirts, patches or posters available that are being sold with the group's permission".
So next time don't condemn the group before you know the truth. Lindsay DulfieId (Miss). Donnington.

Queen and Bowie are being a bit crafty. Of course, if they do have a dual record. it would get to Number One as both sets of fans would buy it.
Quite honestly. I wish someone would put them "Under Pressure", preferably two tons of bricks.
Alison, Bamham.

You little devil!

What's all this business about "spam baps". Everytime i open a copy of your fab mag someone's going on about "spam baps". usually in the company of "a glass of Lucozade".
Is that all you ever eat up there or have you just got shares in luncheon meat and fizzy drinks? "Handsome" Dave Perkins, Truro.

Nah. Perky they're last week's thing now. It's all soya beanburgers and Vimto these days. We're on a health kick.

Rush are refreshing. Their style. their sound and their musicianship are quite outstanding. Alex Lifeson's guitar work -- especially on the classical stuff -- is particularly skilled. as any guitarist will tell you, myself included.
I do. however, agree with you on one point. They are indeed remarkably pale for "power pomp" for the simple reason that they are not "power pomp". As veterans of the heavy/techno-rock scene will tell you, they deserve more than a. mere brush off. They've taken their inspiration from such people as Led Zep. Jimi Hendrix. Eric Clapton. The Yardbirds and Yes, but then I doubt if any of your readers have ever heard of such people.

An avid Alex Lifeson fan, Chelmsford.

P.S. I know you won't print this. but give it a thought at least.

I've given it a thought, Avid, but don't think much of your argument. If you can't appreciate Rush without being a guitarist or having an intimate knowledge of all the groups who've inspired them, then they can't be much cop, can they? If you like them, fine. but what's the point in sounding so superior about it? Personally I think Rush are.. . . . (that's enough of that - Ed.)