Originally from the New York Times 25-01-04.

SANTA MARIA, Calif.
On Jan. 15, the night before Michael Jackson pleaded not guilty here to molesting a 13-year-old boy, Lisadawn Marble, a charity worker from Santa Rosa, Calif., burst into a motel room where about a dozen fellow Jackson fans had spent the evening making posters ("Before you judge him/ Try hard to love him"). Brandishing a photo album, she asked, "Who wants to look at my pictures?" Someone did, and Ms. Marble, 30, narrated in a rapid, high-pitched voice: "I have a Michael Jackson bedspread, chocolate bars, everything. In my apartment I have a Michael Jackson museum. It's my own private museum, and I only let in the people I want to come. That's my life-size statue of Michael, but it's bigger than life-size. It's 6-foot-4 and he's 5-foot-7."

Outside Ms. Marble's museum, Michael Jackson's stature has long been shrinking, as have his record sales. But the rally to support him in Santa Maria showed that his core fans are as loyal as ever. Perhaps more so: their dedication only seems to deepen as his personal troubles grow. Of course, the rally attracted its share of unaffiliated opportunists — aspiring singers hoping for media exposure and so forth — and also a substantial number of African-Americans who felt Mr. Jackson was being treated unfairly because of his race. But the remainder of the crowd consisted overwhelmingly of middle-class white women under the age of 35, a crew of long-time supporters with a specific and somewhat mystifying attachment to Mr. Jackson. These followers view themselves as intermediaries to a man they regard as a kind of holy innocent, representing what they perceive to be his values — generosity, humility and love — in a world where goodness is persecuted. As Jacqi Scott, a beauty consultant who flew in from England for the event, said: "Michael used to say, `If it wasn't for the children of the world, I would throw in the towel.' When Michael was arrested, I understood what he meant. In a world where this can happen, if it wasn't for the innocents — the children and animals — there wouldn't be any hope."

Outside this small camp, Mr. Jackson's personal eccentricities, and in particular his numerous plastic surgeries, have become a subject of morbid fascination. His most devoted fans don't see that as an opportunity for debate, however, or a chance to mount an ardent defense. To them, his behavior is unremarkable. Micah Campbell, 23, a grocery store manager from Baxley, Ga., said, "Sure, he doesn't look the same as he did 20 years ago. But you don't, I don't. Nobody does." Diana D'Alo, 30, an Italian fan who lives in Santa Monica and works for a French film distribution company, dismissed with motherly composure Mr. Jackson's new involvement with the Nation of Islam. As dozens of bodyguards from the organization paraded down the street in Santa Maria, she said: "It won't last. I know Michael. He goes through phases."

And if the rest of world might have forgotten that Mr. Jackson remains innocent until proven guilty, his fans find it impossible even to consider that he might have committed the acts with which he is charged. Ms. D'Alo bases her conviction on personal observation. "I was at Neverland with the boy that's accusing him after the things were supposed to have taken place and everything was normal. Nothing seemed wrong." What's more, she says, "Michael loves children. He would never hurt a child." Many fans said they weren't even following news coverage of the allegations. They didn't need to. "I judge Michael from my heart," Ms. Scott said.

If there is a queen of the fans, it is probably Ms. D'Alo, a voluptuous brunette whose blue eyes are often shaded by Chanel sunglasses and who sometimes appears at Jackson press conferences to represent the fans' perspective. Ms. D'Alo said that she first saw Michael Jackson's photograph on a magazine cover at a newsstand in Italy when she was 15. "I had never seen a person like that before," she said. "He looked so strange and beautiful." She passed through an early phase of teeny-bopper infatuation and memorabilia collecting, and then, when she began to meet Mr. Jackson with some frequency about 10 years ago, sold her collection to other fans in order to raise money to travel around the world to see his concerts. No other celebrity has ever exerted such a pull on her, she says, and she cannot explain why Mr. Jackson is so special to her: "How do you explain emotion? How do you explain love?"
Although she takes umbrage at the media's frequent suggestions that Michael Jackson fans are deluded, Ms. D'Alo did grant that they share some qualities: "Many of them come from broken homes. Many have lost a parent. Many of the girls have eating disorders." In their dedication to Mr. Jackson, she admitted, "They are trying to fill up some lack. But that is true of everybody, with what they are enthusiastic about." She also expressed some bewilderment at the persistence of her ardor for Mr. Jackson: "Another thing about all Michael fans is that they're childlike. Look at us. We're 30 years old. And the way we're dressed, the way we act, how old would you think we are? At least 10 years younger. We're people who don't want our childhood to end."

Perhaps accordingly, these fans' interest in Mr. Jackson appears almost completely non-sexual. When they occasionally allow that he's "hot," the adjective is uttered with much blushing and embarrassment. Most of the women are single and fairly sensitive about the topic: "That is a personal question. That has nothing to do with anything. Why would you ask about that?" said Daniela Kameke, 25, a university student from Berlin.

She, along with Ms. Scott and Ms. D'Alo, are part of an inner circle of several dozen Jackson fans whose lives are largely ordered by their desire to see the singer in person at every possible opportunity. These fans are mainly European women who refer to themselves as "girls." Most are unusually attractive, fashionably dressed and well-spoken. Dulce Iglesias, 29, a Spanish fan who helps run a family-owned restaurant in London, estimated that she had taken six Jackson-related trips in the last year, which lasted "anywhere from five days to a month." The women often travel in packs of four to six, usually with others from their home countries. Sometimes they follow Mr. Jackson's tours; sometimes they simply wait outside Neverland Ranch, south of Santa Maria, in hopes that he will notice them.
Stuart Backerman, a former Jackson publicist who served as liaison to the fans, said by phone: "They're not sitting outside of Neverland for three weeks because he's a great singer. They're sitting there because he's a great person, with a message — that we should erase the color lines, that we should look at people not for what they are outwardly but for what they are inwardly, and that if we do that together, we can heal the world — that all of us need to hear." Many of Mr. Jackson's core group of fans perform volunteer work for children's charities in fealty to his example.

Many have been following Mr. Jackson for a decade or more, and he often rewards and stokes their loyalty. Bea Arizna, 24, who owns a nightclub in Oviedo, Spain, said: "If we are standing outside his hotel or his house, he will always come out. He recognizes us and says, `Are you O.K.? Why are you here?' "

Mr. Jackson sometimes invites them to have supper with him or watch movies with him at Neverland Ranch, although they declined to discuss these experiences in detail, citing the nondisclosure agreements they sign upon entering the house. "I love the popcorn at Neverland," said Ms. Kameke. "It tastes better than any popcorn in the world." When some fans who attended Mr. Jackson's New York concerts on Sept. 7 and 10, 2001, found themselves stranded in the city, Mr. Jackson assigned them a bodyguard and paid for several days' worth of hotel accommodations, entertainment and shopping.

But usually their devotion doesn't come cheap. Many of the fans have run up massive credit card bills. Jacqi Scott said: "My family worries because of the debt. But they know that I just need to see Michael at times." Ms. Kameke, shivering slightly in a thin wool coat, said that she works "several jobs" to afford her trips: "I don't spend any money on anything anymore. No clothes. I never go out. Every single Euro I spend, I think, `I could spend it on the trips.' It's only on Christmas or birthdays that I get new clothes."

Such commitment does not seem to inspire any delusion of personal closeness to the singer. Myra Julliette, 29, from Amsterdam, said: "Being a fan is completely different from the world that Michael is in. But you're part of something special. We see Michael the way he is." Like most fans, Ms. Julliette was polite and poised in casual conversation, though she began to shake and scream when Mr. Jackson exited the courthouse.

In moments like this, it's clear that the inner circle of fans find Mr. Jackson's presence so exhilarating that they are willing to accept a relationship that is less than intimate at the center of their lives, because of the sense of adventure that it provides. It's also clear that there's a deep satisfaction that comes from being one of the remnant who stay faithful to their favorite star after the rest of the world has abandoned him. This is what happened among fans of Judy Garland and Elvis Presley; when the stars' lives descended into chaos, their most loyal fans rushed to their sides.

Spending time with these fans triggers a time-warp sensation in which Mr. Jackson maintains his 1983 level of popularity. After all, these fans' outrageous behavior is a magnification of the feelings that much of the world once had for the King of Pop. But what causes one fan to leave her sequined glove in a drawer, with other outgrown mementos, and another to leave home to follow him around the world?

Standing in the driveway to Neverland at a candlelight vigil the night before the arraignment,Ms. Julliette said: "Maybe there are two people who love dancing. Maybe one of those two people becomes a professional dancer and the other doesn't. Maybe they both have the same amount of talent, and all the same choices, but maybe one person prefers to follow their dream and the other prefers to accept that they're a great dancer, and that's it. Maybe we're the people who followed our dream."

She said: "I've been to places most people will never go. Estonia, Korea. Because of Michael, I have friends in Angola. I could go to Japan, and I have 20 friends there. I've been on the floor of parliament in Romania. And Britain. And yet, in the end, he's a stranger to me."
Lights from the television stand-up crews behind her flashed on and off, and the features of her face flashed from detail to silhouette. "But if it makes me happy, why not follow him?" she said. "Years from now, think of the stories I'll have to tell."